Desperate Times, They Seem Over Now

Today is a really chill day. Padraic, Drew, and I are just sitting around watching Grandma's Boy. The window's open and it feels good. I'm loving life right now.

We went out to a club last night and it was really fun. Empire is the best club in Sac. We brought Drew's roommate Jared with us too. It was cool bringing him out because he hardly ever goes out and never really hangs out with us. Hopefully he'll hang with us more.

Yesterday I had to take this test to see if I can stay in my Math class. I was pretty nervous to take it, but once I started doing the problems I felt better. I think I actually did pretty good. It's weird that I like math.

This girl who went to the club with us last night was really obnoxious. She was really annoying. And she's apparently from Tracy. Weird.

I've been having stupid allergies the last few days. It sucks super bad.

I bit my tongue last night at the club. It was bleeding. Not a lot but it still sucked. Now my tongue hurts. Not cool.

My first week of school went by really slow. It feels like I've been here for a month. It's weird.

I need to start looking for a job soon. I just want to get used to my classes and schedule and what not.

It's weird how I feel I belong in Sacramento. I like it.

Chyeah.

Count On Us All Falling On Our Own Swords Tonight

I don't like this. Distance sucks.

I had three classes today. They were alright. I'm feeling pretty confident I'll do alright in all of my classes.

I forgot how I kinda like math. I don't know if that sounds weird but I like figuring out problems and stuff.

Padraic, Drew, and I went to watch Nick And Norah's Infinite Playlist in the Union today. It was cool. I really like that movie.

I just want the weekend here.
I have to take a math test tomorrow, but it should be quick.

I feel weird. I don't know what it is.

Time to fall asleep to Forgetting Sarah Marshall.

Been Through A Lot In The Past Year, It's Like Everything I Love Is Slipping Away

Classes have been interesting. My Western Civilizations class seems pretty interesting. It's super easy too. No homework all semester. Just a midterm and a final. I have to take super good notes though. My Spanish Reading class seems cool too. The teacher seems really nice and funny. I hated how she pointed out my name and asked me if I could speak Spanish, though. Damn super Mexican name. My U.S. History class seems a little tough. I have to turn in all of my assignments or I fail the class. Oh well. That will inspire me to do all of my work. My math class seems pretty lame though. My teacher is super weird and talks non-stop about stupid crap. Hopefully it gets better though.

Lately Drew, Padraic, and I have been super bored after classes. We don't have homework or anything so we've been watching movies a lot. Hopefully we'll find some more things to do.

Today's me and Joy's 6 months. I'm so glad I met that girl. She has made me so happy. She might be visiting next week also! It's going to be amazing.

Time to sleep.

I Built This With My Own Two Hands

Today was pretty nice. My first class of the semester sounds like a good one. The teacher is really sarcastic and funny, there's no homework, and he said if we just go to class and take good notes, we'll do good on the midterm and final. Hopefully these three classes tomorrow are cool.

I've been missing Joy a lot. I hope she visits soon. Sounds like she might which I'm very excited about!

I'm attempting to get a full night of sleep.

Chyeah. It's ya boy.

Right Now You're The Only Thing That's Making Any Sense To Me

Writing lyrics for the new project I've been working on has been a lot harder than I thought it would be. Everything I write I don't like. Hopefully I'll get past this writer's block soon.

First night back in Sac was great. I missed Padraic and Drew a lot and already the first night back it was like we never even left. They've really become some of my best friends. We went to a club and had a good time.

Today was a chill day. I got all my crap together in my room.

Tomorrow's the semester begins. Hopefully I do good.

This song's been in my head all day.



Way too catchy.

That new song I recorded came out pretty good. It's not great because I only had my guitar and my laptop. But it's decent.

Sleep.

I Wish I Could Disappear, And Run Away From All Of My Fears

I just got back from taking Joy home. I'm going to miss her a lot when I'm gone.

I leave for Sac again tomorrow. I'm kind of excited. I'm kind of not. Just ready to leave this place.

I bought the movie The Wackness with a gift card my godmother gave me for Christmas. It's probably one of the best movies I've seen in a while. The music in it is really good and I was surprised to see Josh Peck in a more serious role. I really liked it a lot.

I'm almost finished with a song I've been working on for a new project I'm starting. I just need to add bass to this part, re-record this other part, add bass to that, and then do vocals. Hopefully I can do all of this before I leave tomorrow. Probably not though.

I thought tonight was going to be lame. I was sitting at home and no one called me to hangout. I figured someone would because I'm leaving or whatever but nope. Luckily Kellie called me and I went over and watched Soul Plane with her. It was actually pretty funny. Then I picked up Joy and we went to my house and ate a caramel apple. It was so good.

I finally cut my hair today. I'm really happy about it. My hair was getting really long and obnoxious.

Moose is asleep on my bed right now. I'm going to miss him a lot. He's like been my best friend lately. I can't wait until I have my own place and I can bring him up to Sac. Damn dog.

I find myself wondering how people I don't talk to or hangout with anymore are. Whatever.

The lady who cut my hair was really weird. She kept trying to make conversation with me, but I don't really like talking to people I don't know. She was really out there. She was talking about how she believes in reincarnation and stuff. That's cool if she does, but honestly I don't care either way.

So I have this weird thing when I sleep. Sometimes I talk or do things that I don't remember doing. The other day Joy and I fell asleep and she said I sat up at some point really fast and asked her what time it was. Then I laid back down and fell asleep again. I do not remember that. My roommate's said that sometimes I'll talk to him when I'm asleep. The weirdest thing that's happened to me was on Christmas. I texted this random number telling them that everyone in the house was asleep. Then I called that number like three times. I was so confused. I remember a long time ago I fell asleep on the phone with one person, then woke up later on in the night and was on the phone with someone else. It really scares me because I don't want to do something stupid while I'm asleep and not know about it.

Let's see if I do anything weird tonight.

I Feel That When I'm Old, I'll Look At You And Know, The World Was Beautiful

I'm making a mix CD for Joy right now. I hope she likes it.

I wonder if there's a job where someone picks the music played during certain scenes in a movie. I bet I would be really good at that.

I woke up late today. I didn't like it at all.

Tomorrow I'm getting Joy early and we're going to spend the day together. It should be nice.

It's raining right now. I like the sound of rain on my window. It's so relaxing.

I need to wake up early tomorrow.

So This Is The New Year And I Don't Feel Any Different

I just watched a movie that was not very good at all. Don't watch Garden Party.

Today was crazy. I woke up at 7:59 a.m. thinking I slept through Obama getting sworn in. I was surprised I woke up that early without an alarm. I put a tape in the TV and recorded it (yes we still have VCRs). It was crazy to see such a historical moment. I'll be telling my children and what not about it. It's exciting.

Three days until I'm back in Sac. For some reason I'm excited about it right now. So that's good.

Joy sewed my Hear The Sirens shirt so I'm pretty happy. I wore it today. That girl's amazing.

I downloaded the Nororious B.I.G.'s albums yesterday. He's pretty good. I never was that big of a fan of him or anything because I figured he was overrated or something. Definitely good though.

Sleep.

Love Is Watching Someone Die

I just watched this movie called The Quiet. It was really good. It's probably one of my favorites. It had Camilla Belle. She's gorgeous. Stupid Joe Jonas is dating her.

Last night, Joy and I had a date night. We went to dinner and a movie. We watched Notorious. It was so good. I was really looking forward to seeing that movie.

I'm going to try and wake up tomorrow morning to watch Obama get sworn in or whatever. It's a big day.

In four days I'm back in Sac. I'm kind of glad. I'm kind of disappointed. Oh well. Either way I don't belong here.

I don't think I'm going to record any new music any time soon. It's kind of weird. I'll look at my guitar and don't really want to pick it up or sing or anything. It kind of sucks.

They played Down To You on MTV today. It's actually playing again right now. I really like that movie.

Joy and I hung out here all day. It was nice.

I've been listening to Death Cab a lot (as you can see by the title of this entry). I never actually had any of their albums. Just a few songs. I'm going to download more I think.

Tomorrow I'll have absolutely nothing to do. Joy is at school and works later on. I'll probably just sit around with Moose.

I had this really weird dream the other night. I had this weird telekinesis ability. There were these people who wanted to kill me, but I couldn't die. But every time they would attack me with something that SHOULD have killed me, it would just hurt me. It was weird how much I missed the power when I woke up. It seemed so real in the dream. I saw Jumper the day after and the plot kind of reminded me of the dream. It was really weird. Cool movie by the way.

This commercial is really cool.


My neck is killing me for some reason. It feels like I turned my head too fast or something.

I really hope that whole sleeping problem doesn't come back when I'm in Sac. Tomorrow I'm going to try and go to sleep early.

Five hours.

Before Too Long You'll Be A Memory

I don't like this mood. I haven't felt this way in a while. It's like I'm really anxious about something, but I don't know what it is. I feel like I want to talk to someone, but there's no one to talk to. I don't even have anything to talk about anyway so I don't know why I'm feeling like this.

My head hurts a lot. Its making me really sleepy.

I feel like I was being a little obnoxious last night. I don't like that.

I've been so tired lately. I don't like it.

Something needs to change. I don't know what it is.

I can't stop worrying about what I'm going to do this year. I keep wondering how I'm going to get to the point where everything is alright, where I have a good income of money, where I have my own place, where I'm doing good in school, etc.

I downloaded a bunch of music this week. Two Death Cab albums, the Deltron 3030 album, the new A Day To Remember album, Justin Timberlake's first album, The Postal Service's album, and both of William Fitzsimmons albums. I want more.

Tuesday's going to be such an important day. I'm really glad I'm alive to see it happen.

Blah.

That Girl That I Told You Was Only A Friend, Turns Out That I Kissed Her

So my little set went pretty good. A lot more people than I thought showed up. It made me a little bit nervous but once I started, I was alright. Some people I would've rather not have seen came, but oh well, didn't bother me really. Just made my audience look bigger, so cool. I got this weird stomach ache afterward. Probably from being nervous. That happened when I played at Slim's too. It went away eventually though.

Afterward we went to Anthony's and then walked to the Comic Book Store. When we got back, we watched Aqua Teen Hunger Force. Then me and Joy went to my house, cleaned, then went to the mall.

When I got back, my parents were already home. I didn't tell them I had a little "gig" today. They don't really care so I figured it didn't matter. It's not really a big deal. Just sometimes I wish I could show them what I love doing and have them understand.

Earlier today William Fitzsimmons commented my page. He said "Hey EJ Thanks so much man. Have a great day. - William". I think he commented me because I had his song on my page. It was cool though. He even called me EJ, which means he had to look at my page and read my name and not just read my display name and called me EJ Aculate. His albums are great.

I downloaded A Day To Remember's album today. I love how I've been checking for their album to leak everyday and the one day I didn't check (yesterday), it leaked. Oh well. It's really good. I can't wait to see them.

Last night I wanted to go to sleep early, so I laid in bed around 12. I fell asleep at around 12:30. 10-15 minutes later, Moose woke up and got off my bed, which woke me up. I couldn't go back to sleep at all. So I read Sex Drive so I could get sleepy. I didn't get sleepy and I didn't go to bed until around 3. That sucked.

I really hope Joy starts applying for scholarships and what not. Smart people like her can get that stuff easily. I wish I would have thought about that stuff before and wasn't so lazy. It would have helped out a lot. Seriously Joy can get into some great schools. I don't think she understands that.

Anthony really helped me out today with playing keys. That jerk is way too talented at way too many things haha. Brittany was awesome during our song too. It was fun. I want to do something like that again. It sucked that Shuan and his project couldn't play. Hopefully we could set something up soon.

Today at the mall I guess this girl who was at the cafe was there. I looked at her at one point and she smiled at me. I looked away confused and when we left the store we were in, Joy told me the girl saw me play and I felt like a jerk for just looking the other direction when she smiled at me. Oh well. Nothing I can do about it now.

I might download Justin Timberlake's albums tonight. You can't deny he's really good. I love me some good pop.

I can't wait for Demetri Martin's show.
I should find his CD.
It's somewhere around here.

Long Days Have Made Us Numb, I Don't Know Where You're Coming From

Tommorow's my little set. I'm actually getting a little nervous now. Mostly because I don't know if Anthony's going to be able to play with me now. He has a job interview in San Leandro tomorrow at 2. He's going to try and make it earlier but if not he'll have to rush back after and try to make it. Also my buddy Shaun and his friend are supposed to play a small set too but Shaun might have work. I haven't actually heard from him yet about whether or not he'll be able to do it. Blah. Well if all else fails, I'll just play my little set by myself. Oh well.

Today I got Joy from school and we hung around my house. We laid in bed and listened to William Fitzsimmons' albums. He is actually really good. One of my new favorites. Joy and Moose fell asleep while I just laid there listening to him. It was nice.

That guy Shaun showed me this song the other day:



It's been in my head all day. I had no idea it was on my ipod until 20 minutes ago.

So tomorrow I'm going to try and wake up early. When Anthony gets home from Brooke's Grandma's house he's going to call me to practice before he leaves. I hope things go smoothly tomorrow. I'm sure they will though. It's not even that big of a deal anyway.

I've finally been reading the book Sexdrive. It's really good so far. I can't believe I don't remember the movie at all. I'll probably watch it again after I finish the book.

Time to read, then sleep.

Dolla Dolla Bill Ya'll

Everyday's Another Chance To Make It, But I Can't

Thursday's coming up quick. I'm excited. I'm a little nervous but I'm almost positive it'll be alright. Practicing with Anthony has sounded REALLY good. I like it a lot. Art made a flier for the little show. And I guess on Thursday Echo and Kady are going to take pictures of me playing. It's amazing how much my friends are helping me with this. They have no idea how grateful I am for them. I know it's not like a huge or that serious of a show or anything, but it's my first time playing my music in front of people. So it kind of means a lot to me. Joy has been my test audience and she said I sound good. But that could also be because we're dating. Maybe?

Scrubs has been really good so far. I'm so happy Elliot and J.D. are back together. E+J forever! Haha.

I told my parents about how I failed two classes. They didn't really get mad or anything but I could tell my mom was pretty upset. My dad didn't say anything because that's just how he is. I really should have studied more or paid more attention. I don't want to make excuses but I think it might have a lot to do with how lonely I was over there. Not to mention the not sleeping thing. But now I feel like Padraic and Drew and I have gotten to be pretty good friends. So I don't think I'll feel that loneliness over there. I'm going to try and have a steady sleeping schedule.

So apparently some people who don't really like me decided to not be friends with Art because he hangs out with me. It's ridiculous. I understand if you have a problem with me or something, but don't take it out on someone like Art who's just a caring, good person. Honestly I don't understand why we can't act like one another doesn't exist. I feel bad.

My wrist hurts a lot for some reason. I have no idea why.

This song that's on my profile is really good. I've been playing it over and over. It was on that Zach Braff interview thing. The guy's name is William Fitzsimmons. I might download his album.

In a couple of weeks I head back to Sacramento. I'm excited but scared also. I'm going to miss Joy a lot. I've seen her everyday since I've been here (with the exception of today). I hate how distance has always been a factor in every one of my relationships.

I watched The Butterfly Effect this morning. Always a good movie. A little later I watched this movie called Get Over It on MTV. It was pretty good. For some reason I'm a sucker for those 90's teen movies like Can't Hardly Wait or Drive Me Crazy.

I'm kind of worried about leaving my dog next week. I guess he gets sad when I leave and like goes to my room looking for me and what not. That damn dog. He's probably my best friend.

I've been using my debit card a lot. I'm afraid to look at my bank account balance. I hope that loan comes quick.

I'm really excited about Notorious coming out. It looks like it's going to be a really good movie. I'm going to drag Joy to see it with me. Even though she says she's going to fall asleep. I might watch Bride Wars with her to be fair. We'll see.

I just sneezed and woke up my dog. He gave me the most scared look ever.

Sleep. Now.

It's Hard To Take Risks With A Pessimist

I didn't watch that movie last night because I got way too sleepy. This morning I woke up and got ready and was going to meet up with this guy I know to have a little jam session but I had a bunch of stuff to do around here so I moved it to tomorrow.

I'm going to have Anthony help me out on Thursday. I'm going to go over to his place tonight and practice. It should be fun.

I've been getting more plays than I usually do. It makes me happy. I wonder who listens to my music.

I'm excited to watch Demetri Martin's new show. It'll probably be great.

I listened to this weird interview that Zach Braff did earlier where he played some songs he liked and they were really good. Me and Joy laid in bed listening to them. She fell asleep with Moose and I sat around listening to music. When she woke up we grabbed some food at Burger King because I have a coupon book for there. It ended up hurting my stomach but I'll probably be buying there a lot because of the coupons.

I've been feeling really tired lately. I have no idea why. It sucks.

This kid's hilarious:

It's Cute How You Try, To Rebuild Your Life

I've been really sleepy today. I think it's because of my contacts. My eyes are so used to my glasses that when I wear my contacts, they get all weird. It gets hard to focus on things too. Not too fun.

I am very happy with the way me and Brittany's song came out. It got over 200 plays the first day it was up. I was really surprised. People kept telling me they liked it. Someone I'm not exactly friends with even gave me what I could only assume was a compliment. So that's cool. I want to see if I can maybe record one more song before I go back to Sac.

I'm finally going to play in front of people. This Thursday I'll be doing a little acoustic set at Barista's. It should be fun. I've told people to go and it sounds like they'll make it out. A guy I know who has an acoustic project with his friend is going to play also. It'll be a little session. Nothing serious. I just want to get used to playing in front of people.

Click was on TV today. That movie always gets me really sad around the part where he finds out his dad died and he was a jerk and stuff. I have this really weird fear of my parents dying or getting old and stuff. I don't think I'll be able to handle it when it happens. I just don't want to take them for granted.

Yesterday I went to Kady's and played Left 4 Dead with Art for a while. That game's really intense. They gave me a copy of a picture the three of us took on New Years. Except I forgot it on her couch and suck at life. Hopefully I can get it back.

Me and Joy went to Target today and I bought a movie called The Onion Movie. It looked funny so I just decided to get it. I'll probably watch it when I'm done on here.

I hate how talented Justin Timberlake is. I really don't care if it's a girly thing to like him, he's REALLY good.

Joy finally tried CranCherry for the first time. I'm glad someone else knows how amazing it is.

And...I'm done.

My Body Aches, And It Hurts To Sing, And No One Is Moving

Jesus I get lazy with this thing.

I just woke up from the weirdest dream ever. I don't remember much, but all I know is I woke up feeling really sad.

Moose was next to me stealing all of my covers. What a jerk.

Yesterday I spent most of the day recording with Brittany. The song is coming out really good. I still have some stuff to add. I stayed up until around 3 editing the song. Finally I got tired and went to bed. I'm going to try and finish it this morning.

The other day I went to Cuttin' Loose's practice. They are seriously really good. Their new song is super catchy. I was humming the riff like the rest of that day.

I'm supposed to record some music with Anthony also. Hopefully we can do that soon. I think he likes Pretty Ricky too much. Haha.

I'm kinda looking forward to going back to Sac. Things just seem more simpler there. I think it's this town.

"Some nights,
I fucking love this town
I fucking love this town
But most nights,
I fucking hate this town
I fucking hate this."
-The Wonder Years

This movie I watched the other day really got to me for some reason. It was called Wristcutters: A Love Story. It was about this guy who kills himself, and he goes to this place where everyone who kills themselves goes. He finds out his ex girlfriend killed herself too and he goes looking for her. On the way he meets this girl and falls in love with her and yeah it's just really good. I love movies like that. That seem stupid, but after watching it, it turns out to be a really good movie. I don't know. I recommend it.

So I'm going to have to miss the City and Colour show in San Francisco. I already bought the ticket, but I start school that week. I spent $30 on those tickets. I'm more upset about missing Dallas though. One of the only things I want is to watch him live and I have to miss it. And it's at Slims. Where he'll probably walk around and greet people. Fuck.

For some reason my mom has been in a really good mood lately. I want to ask her why, but I don't want to risk it stopping or something.

Time to start my day and get back to work.

"Go To Hell" Is All I Thought For Seven Weeks

Last night me and Joy watched Wicker Park and Once. Once was amazing as always. I forgot how good Wicker Park is. Definitely one of my favorite movies. After taking her home I went to bed. This morning I woke up very sleepy. I made myself an egg, ham, and cheese bagel sandwich. It was good. Other than that I did a lot of nothing. I was really lazy.

Tonight I didn't go out. I hung around the house with my parents. I got my dad this 1,500 piece puzzle for christmas, and my parents and me were working on it all night. We have the frame of it done. I'm glad one of the gifts I got is resulting in family time.

I picked up Joy from work around 10. I thought I'd make it through 2009 without seeing certain people I didn't want to see, but of course I saw them on the second day of the year. Oh well. There's always 2010.

Now I'm sitting being kind of bored. I don't really want to sleep, so I'm downloading all of Fall Out Boy's albums. Too bad they're actually pretty good. I should've gave them a shot all of these years.

I guess my brother in laws got in an argument on New Years because one of them was kind of preaching about religion to the other one who's not all that religious. The not religious one finally told him that he's going to believe what he wants to believe. Which is good because honestly I get sick of how much my sister and him preach to us about fucking god. Anyone preaching to believe something is stupid, whether it be to believe in god or to not believe in him. People believe in what they want.

I've been wanting to set up a little acoustic session at this cafe downtown but I keep forgetting to go talk to the people there. I'm going to try and go tomorrow and see if we can do it either next week or the week after. It'd be some good practice to play in front of people. I can tell some friends about it and have them come watch. It should be fun.

In a few ways, I can't wait to get back to Sacramento. Other ways I don't want to. It's weird. Or maybe I'm just really tired and need some sleep. So I'll probably do that. Post.

Well God Damn You, You're Feeding On My Loneliness

New Years was amazing! I had so much fun last night. It's crazy to think of how long I've known Art, Anthony, and Kady. They're such great people. I'm glad I started the new year with them. Joy was my kiss at midnight and it was perfect. Art, Anthony, Kady, Joy, Brooke, Aaron, and I all drank and what not. It was really fun. Some faggots egged my car but I don't really care because it's not like it was that great to look at in the first place. I came home, ate some chinese food, and went to sleep.

I'm going to start recording on Monday. I'm going to make sure I do it because I've been putting it off for too long. I started writing lyrics to another song I'm working on. So hopefully these two new songs will be ready by next week. Also, I think I'll start recording the cover soon. Yay for music!

I'm so ready for this new year. I've already filtered out all the crap in my life. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with people's crap and pathetic bitching all the time.

So it might sound kind of gay, but I really think Wizards of Waverly Place is a really funny show. Fuck you, funny's funny.

I'm so excited for Scrubs to come back next week. It's going to be great. NBC fucked up.

I think I'm going to start reading Sexdrive today. I could use some good reading and I haven't finished The Curious Case of Benjamin Button yet.

I'm so excited. My sister told us that she's pregnant yesterday. That means I'm going to be an uncle! I'm going to spoil the shit out of that little guy/girl/fetus.

I haven't spent any money in the last week. I'm super proud of myself for it.

I downloaded the demo tracks for City and Colour's Bring Me Your Love. Some of the songs I think are better than the album versions.

Yay for 2009!