Sometimes I Wonder Why I'm So Full Of These Endless Rhymes About The Way I Feel Inside

I can't believe I'm writing this right now. I should be asleep or at least using this time to study. I just can't seem to focus though. I had 4 or 5 hours of sleep last night. The exam I had today was ridiculous. Now I'm up studying for the exam I have tomorrow. All I want to do is lay down and shut my eyes.

I found out that our Spring Break is a week later than I thought it was. I could've sworn it said the 23rd online. It sucks, but now there's a chance my parents will head to San Diego that week and leave me to watch their house. Honestly I've just wanted to head home lately. I don't know what it is. I just feel like I don't really have anything to relate to here. It's not like I don't like Sacramento or my school or my friends here, it's just I've been feeling so empty. I don't know what it is.

I'm listening to City and Colour right now. He'll never get old for me. I wonder if when I'm older and I have kids, and I try to show them the music that I listened to when I was young, if they'll think I'm lame. Weird to think about.

The whole lack of sleep thing is really inspiring me to pick up my guitar and write. It's probably because my mind is just kind of wandering.

These last few days I haven't been able to talk to Joy that much. I've been busy studying for all these exams my teachers decided to give me this week. I miss her.

I really want to get the book House of Leaves. It looks really interesting.

I was talking to my mom today about how my sister's birthday is on Friday. I asked her if I should buy her anything. My mom said no and I made a joke about how she didn't get me anything for my last birthday. She said, "Aww she didn't?" and I said, "Nope. Nobody did." I don't think she realized that. It's not that I wanted anything, but it was my 18th birthday. My sister had a huge party at a hall for her 18th birthday. It doesn't seem too fair.

Sometimes I look back and wonder how different things would be if I made certain decisions over others. Or I'll think about what would've happened if I didn't meet the people I met in my life. I tend to think about that stuff a lot. That's probably unhealthy.

Lately I've just been playing The Wonder Years, Transit, and Fireworks. The Wonder Year's lyrics are so good to me for some reason.

I can't wait for this movie to come out:


The book was so good. It's weird because when I was reading the book, I pictured it all very similar to the way the movie looks.

Still weird I grabbed that book randomly at Border's.

I think I'll sleep and wake up early to finish the last two questions I need to do. I can't function.

Floop.