Against The Walls, Against Your Rules, Against Your Skin

So a lot's been going on with me lately.

I broke up with Larissa.
I liked her and she was really nice and everything, but right now it wasn't what I wanted.
It was the first time I broke up with someone in a really long time.
It seems she's moved on pretty quick though so that's good.

Finals are this week and I'm trying to not stress about them at all.
I'm so ready for the semester to end.
I think I might start looking for a place for myself, since my two roommates might move back home.
I feel like it would be good for me to live by myself.

Even though I feel like I need to concentrate on myself for a while, I am definitely not going to fight any interests I find. And I think I might have found an interest.
I don't know what's going to happen with that, but right now I like it a lot.

I am trying out for a band soon. They seem pretty cool and have even suggested using a TSoW song and remaking it with a full band. I'm pretty excited. Hopefully it works out.

I've been missing my friends a lot. They're what's missing over here. Also, my family.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about you. I wish we still talked, and I understand that that probably won't happen for a really long time. I just miss the way we used to talk and laugh about things. You really were my best friend for over a year. I don't think you know how truly sorry I am for ever hurting you.

I found out this guy I went to High School with passed away today. It's really sad. He was such a nice guy, and just had a baby. Good people don't deserve stuff like that. This world is so fucked up. His poor family.

Tomorrow night, Wennie's coming over. I'm pretty excited. I made her a mix the other day and she said she liked it, but I don't know if she really did or not. She's kind of hard to read.

Time for sleep. Kevin's sleeping on my floor since Padraic plays Call of Duty until 9 in the morning.

I Feel Alive Tonight, The Possibility That I'm Your Guy

I haven't posted anything in a while.
I always do that.
I've been really busy lately with school and work.
Mostly work.

Tonight I'm in a really good mood.

• I don't work tomorrow
• I woke up early today
• Had some good sales at work
• Saw Larissa when I didn't think I would
• Went grocery shopping with Padraic
• I get to see my family this week
• I get to see my best friends back home
• I get to see Moose
• I get to eat home cooked food
• Christmas is coming up
• I feel like I actually have some friends out here
• Things with Larissa are going really good
• I'm actually making good progress towards my goal to quit smoking
• Thanksgiving is coming up soon
• I'm actually inspired to record (just can't right now because it's too late)
• Our apartment is getting cleaned tomorrow

I just feel good right now.
I'm hoping this doesn't change for a while.

Last night I went to a local Battle of the Bands with Larissa. The bands were alright. This one Pop Punk band was really good though. Larissa's friend's band was good too. They ended up winning. I felt bad because during the middle of the show I got really sick. I am never eating at Hotdog on a stick again. Larissa took care of me though. She's seriously amazing. It's crazy how happy she makes me.



Our song<3

I really want to find a band out here to sing for. I thought I found one, but the guitarist hasn't replied to my text about when I can audition. Maybe they found someone already? Oh well. It happens I guess.

I wish our heater worked in our place. It's way too cold in the morning.

Sleep here I come

Oh No, I Won't Let Them Take You, Won't Let Them Take You

I haven't posted on here in a bit.
I've sort of been busy.
It's getting sort of tiring.

I have the next two days off so I'm pretty happy about that.
I am stressing about school. I really hope I do good this semester.
I am actually feeling better about my money situation. I get paid this Friday and I'll have a good amount left over after I pay rent and everything.

Larissa and I have been getting closer.
I really like where things are going.
We're going to spend Halloween together and rent a movie since I have to work.
Honestly just watching a movie together that night sounds great.

Having Moose around was really nice. I missed him so much.
It was definitely a hassle to take care of him though.
It's probably good he isn't staying with me.
My parents know how to take care of him so he's happy.

I might audition for a band next week. I'm kind of excited.
Sort of nervous too. I hope it works out.

I hate having to wait for new heroes every week.

I saw Paranormal Activity. Definitely pretty creepy. I think I saw the alternate ending?
Or the original ending? Idk. She killed the guy, and got shot. Which ever one that was.

I really started liking Say Anything today. I never gave them a really good listen before.









So good.

Dreaming, Picture That A Whole World In A Slumber

Tonight was so great.
I've never really been on a real date before.
Larissa and I went to Buca Di Beppo and got full way too fast.
Then we decided to go watch a movie and watched Zombieland.
It was so funny.
After the movie Larissa and I went back to the Starbucks where my car was parked and we stood around and talked.
We got through the awkward end of the date pretty good.
Really good actually.
Then we went home.

Apparently she liked my mix CDs too.

My friends were all going to a party tonight.
I started getting ready to go with them, even though I didn't really want to go.
Luckily my roommate Kevin said he wasn't going to go either so I stayed and hung out with him and our friend Colleen.

I'm really afraid we might get evicted.
We keep getting warnings. We got two noise violations and one parking violation.
All three were one person's fault. -_-

I work tomorrow from 4 until 10:30. I'm hoping it's not a crappy day.

I sort of want to get up early and do my laundry, but I have a feeling it's not going to happen until Sunday.

Lately there have been so many drugs around me.
It's sort of depressing.
I'm glad I stopped smoking. I didn't like what it did to me.
I think I only like drinking, and lately I haven't even been in the mood to drink to get really drunk.
I have way too many things to worry about.

I have sort of been slacking off with homework.
I'm going to completely stop this now before it gets bad.
No more late nights on weekdays.
Going to class every Monday and Wednesday.
Do homework every night.
I need to.

I Met A Girl Who Knows How To Live

I just finished cleaning up my place.
It's still not as clean as I would want it, but it's definitely a lot better.
Really tired now though.

I'm moving on, and it feels crazy.
I'm sorry if it's soon.

Kevin and I are sitting on our couch on our computers and listening to music.
It's really chill.

My parents are taking me out to breakfast tomorrow.
I'm pretty excited about that.

I'm wondering when Larissa is going to be free to hang out again.
She's so busy.

I'm going to try and not drink during weekdays anymore.
It completely ruins the day after.

I'm showing Kevin some of my music.
Everyone's always surprised by my voice.

I should be asleep.

And If We Lose It All Tonight, I Promise You I Won't Forget Your Face

Today was a crazy day.

I woke up to the sound of the rain and wind banging against my window.
I fell back to sleep and woke up to a call from Larissa.
After a while I got out of bed and got ready.
Then I went to Starbucks to hang with Larissa for a bit.
The drive was so crazy.
After Starbucks I had to go to work and was stuck in really bad traffic.
It seemed like the storm affected everyone.
I finished everything I had to do at work.
Came home and did some homework.
My roommate was playing his music too loud and the security was called for the second time on us.
I'm afraid we might get evicted eventually.
I drank a few beers and hung out with everyone.
Now I'm in bed wishing I wasn't so used to being up this late.

Larissa gave me a couple of blank CDs so I can burn the playlists I made.
That's pretty cool.

I have class tomorrow at 12.
I hate how I think of that as early.

After class I'm cleaning up this apartment so much.
It has to look good for my parents.

I was worried about a couple of papers I have due.
Luckily one's not due until November and the other isn't due until the 21st.

It seems everyone who read that post about me not trying anymore made an attempt to talk to me.
That didn't last long though.
Oh well.
Happens.

I actually really like the new season of Heroes so far.
And I really like Glee.
Mondays and Wednesdays, son.

Still really want to see Paranormal Activity.
I'm going to see if Larissa wants to see it.
Hopefully she's down, because it seems like no one else wants to watch it.

I'm thinking about quitting smoking.
Maybe.

Got a text saying she had a bad dream.
Damn old people.

Sleep time.

If I Could Know Your Thoughts, If I Could Read Your Mind

Strange day.

If it's what you want, then I'll leave you alone.
It sucks, but I understand.

That was the only bad part of my day.

I woke up in time for school.
Paid attention in both of my classes.
Got out of school early.
Made a sandwich.
Went to Starbucks with Larissa.
Came home and talked to my parents.
Relaxed for a little while.
Made a really good dinner.
And now we're watching 28 Weeks Later.

Pretty crazy movie.

I have a tumblr as of last night.
Still trying to get used to it.

I really want to do some serious recording sometime this week.
I don't know why I can't sit down and do it.

Work has been getting easier.
I feel like I'm getting everything down.
Way too much stuff you have to learn about suits.

I've had this song in my head for the last hour for some reason.

This one too.


It's late at night when I really want to talk to someone.
I don't know why.

Excited for Wednesday.
I kind of want tomorrow to just be over with.

I really want to see Paranormal Activity this week.

It's Clouded What We Know And I'm Losing Everything

So tired of making an effort. I'm done trying to talk to you.
This isn't to anyone in particular.
It's actually a few people.
So if you don't hear from me for a while, you're probably included in this.
Feel free to change it.
Just don't feel like caring when you don't care back.

ANYWAY...

I was 10 minutes late for work today. So lame.
I woke up and freaked out about how much I overslept.
Hopefully I can fix my sleeping patterns.

I don't work tomorrow.
Pretty happy about that.
I have school from 12-2:45 and after that I'm supposed to be getting coffee with a friend.
That should be pretty cool.

I have to take this quiz in a few minutes on some stuff I have to read.
After that I'm going to try and clean our place as much as possible.
My parents are stopping by this week so I have to do my best.

Everything I Loved And Feared Had All At Once Disappeared

I just worked today. Didn't do much else. I like my coworkers.

Was completely surprised by my friend visiting me. I wish I wasn't so awkward and shy.
I remember being younger and shy, and thinking that I'd grow out of it and be alright. I guess it's not happening. Hopefully I can pretend like I'm not nervous all of the time.

Tried recording a bit tonight. It took me a while because I had to change my settings to get the best sound. Might re-record what I got done though because I had to stay sort of quiet since it was late.

From what I hear, the scene here in Sac is really different than the 209. Seems sort of lamer? Not sure. I guess we'll see.

I feel like I've been thinking too much. Don't have too many people to talk to. I can type stuff here or something, but it's not the same as speaking with someone and having a real conversation. I'm hoping that'll change. We'll see.

This song keeps playing in my head.


I'm excited for Monday.

We'll Live Like Lovers, Who've Never Known Heartache

Haven't posted in a few days.

Lately I've been working a lot. I sure could use the hours.

I'm trying to keep up with school. It can be hard sometimes.
Or maybe I just make it hard on myself?

My roommates went home this weekend. It's weird being here by myself.

I'm going to actually start recording tomorrow night. I get off at 6:30 and won't have anything better to do. My goal is to finish two songs, minus the vocals.



Amazing scene.

It's weird when you realize that the people you consider close friends don't think of you the same way. Sorry for trying.

New things are happening in my life. It's strange and scary.

I found this video the other day. I can't stop listening to it.

I'm Trying To Feel Something That's Real

I don't know how it happened, but all of those feelings came back.

I'm sick of everything.

I'm not happy.

I don't know how to change that.

It sucks.

Things won't ever be the way it was.

How Do We Get So Close Without Us Knowing Where We Would Be?

Played some pong tonight.
Not drunk. Not sober. I hate that middle.

I'm going to be alone this weekend because my roommates are going to LoveFest and I have to work. Kind of sucks. I need something to do.

I bought a recording mic today at Guitar Center. I'm hoping it's good because it cost $60. I paid for it with my gift card, but still.

Still looking for a band to join.
Might want to try and start one.
We'll see.

I'm so broke right now I'm actually really scared.
I'm going to see how much money I get tomorrow from my pay check.
Most of it will probably go towards my rent.
Kind of sucks.



Really like that song.
I don't know why I've been in such a Jonny Craig mood.

I want to wake up early tomorrow.
I'm going to do my homework.
Try out my mic and see if I can start recording.
Then go to work.

I guess my roommate's inviting some friends from his hometown over tomorrow so it should be interesting.

Life.
Ha.

I Have No Soul, No Conscience, Floating For One Meaning

I've been doing better.
After heading home last weekend I feel a bit happier.

I'm trying to stay positive about everything.
Even though I have a bunch of stuff to stress about.
Things can only get better.

I don't know why I was thinking the way I was.
Kind of dumb

Anyway...

I'm kind of excited for the next TSoW song. I'm going to buy a mic tomorrow at Guitar Center and start recording tomorrow too. It's going to be awesome.

I've been looking for a band to join around here.
It's so hard though.
It seems like the only bands looking for a vocalist are crappy ones.
Hopefully it happens though.

Jonny Craig's new video is hella weird.
It's kind of corny, but I like it.



I've kind of realized I need to calm down.
Things aren't that bad.

Everybody Here Has Got Somebody To Lean On

Waiting for this feeling to end.

I don't know why I think or do the things I do.

I watched 500 Days of Summer tonight.
Good.
Made me feel worse though.

Going to try and sleep.

Strange day today.

My mind's cloudy

Stay With Me, Please Stay With Me

Thing's aren't too great lately.

I haven't been getting too many hours at work because my manager sucks.
I'm trying to stay on top of all my school stuff.
I can't pledge for TKE like I planned because someone screwed up.
I haven't been sleeping too great.
I've been feeling really lonely.
I don't feel like doing anything anymore.
Our apartment is so dirty. I hate it, but at the same time I don't feel like cleaning it.
I haven't sung since I've moved here.
I wasted so much gas this weekend. Kind of dumb of me.
I feel like sleeping all the time now.
This last week I was rarely sober. Trying to do things different this week.
I told a friend I'd record a song for him today. I'm gonna see if my mic works.
It might have broke on the way up here.

I just want something good to come in my life soon.
I'm ready for things to change for the better.

Do You Really Want To Get To Know Me?

I don't even know what to write.

I feel empty. Numb.

I hate this.

Cause The Season's Change Was A Conduit And We'd Left Our Love In Our Summer Skin

Haven't been on here in a while.

I moved into my new apartment earlier this week. I really love it. We almost have everything in order. I'm just kind of freaking out about JC Penney over here. The guy keeps being an asshole and not calling me back. Whatever, I'm gonna get that job.

I was definitely sad to leave Tracy. Way more sad than last time. This summer was great. I love my friends so much.

So I'm an uncle as of last Saturday. That's pretty exciting. I can't wait to meet the kid.

Money's been tight for me. My parents are helping me out some. It's definitely scary actually being on my own.

Our friend Kevin might be rooming with us, also. He's gonna bring a bed and place it in the living room. That'll make our rent lower, so I'm all for it.

I can't really sleep right now, even though I'm extremely tired.

Might watch Garden State or something. Such a come up.

I don't know how I'm going to get through this semester. Hopefully I'll be okay.

I Knew You Were A Liar, I Knew You Were A Liar From The Start

Can't sleep right now. It sucks pretty bad.

I'm so stressed out it's ridiculous.

I just want everything to be solved so I can just relax. But I know I'm not going to be able to relax for a while. I'm going to have to worry about school, work, and more school and more work. Growing up is so scary. I was talking to Alva today about what I'm going to do when I'm older. She was saying I should just pursue music full on, but I explained how risky that is and stuff. I just wish I could sing and play my guitar all the time.

I posted a new TSoW track. It came out pretty good. It could be a little louder and somethings could've been better but whatever. I want to record two more tracks. I just don't have the time.

Joy's not going to Sacramento. It's a weird feeling. When I'm out there, I'm such a different person. I feel like I'm not really myself. When I'm here, with my friends, I feel as me as I can. I thought that having Joy out there with me would give me some time to be normal and what not. I don't really know when I'll have that now. Oh well. I'm sure I'll be too busy with work and school to notice anyway.

I really like this song. Even though she acts like a crack head in this video.


Gonna try and sleep. -_-

I Know It's Not You My Dear, I Know It's Not You

I'm sitting at home tonight. I worked pretty long today so it feels nice to just sit around and relax.

The new Heroes season looks so cool.



So I've been stressing lately about the month that's coming up. I need to find a place to live soon. I need to see if I can transfer to the JC Penney in Sacramento. I need to find a new car. I need more money. I've been freaking out. But it looks like the living situation might be alright. We've been looking and everything. I did some math and I think I might be able to make it this school year without getting another loan, even though it would help me a lot. I'm going to talk to my manager this week about whether or not I'll be able to transfer. I'm looking into car auctions to see if I can maybe go get a car. It's been a stressful month.

I love this song.



This video is kind of cool too.


Haven't listened to them in so long.


Ace Enders is so fucking good.



I love this song.

She Tore Down All My Walls, Left Me For All She Had Known

I've had the stomach flu the last few days. It sucked so bad. I think I'm just about better, so that's good. I haven't been to work since Monday, so my check is going to be pretty small.

I hate that I spent so much time at home, but I felt way too sick to record anything.

I downloaded Daphne Loves Derby's acoustic ep the other day. I haven't listened to them in a while.


I don't like the little asian kid at the beginning of the video.
The acoustic version is better in my opinion.

Today's the first day I feel like I can eat real food. I kind of want a burger but I know that probably won't do me any good.

I've Been Lying Wide Awake Paralyzed By The Buzzing Of The Television

I've been going to bed so late lately. Oh well. I don't work tomorrow so it doesn't matter.

Listening to Jonny Craig's new songs. He's so fucking good. It's ridiculous.

I'm pretty happy I have the next two days off. I need a break from JC Penney.

So my birthday was pretty nice. I spent it with all of my real friends. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday and such.

I like the new Set Your Goals CD. I'm not too sure about the song with Hayley Williams though. Her rap makes ME embarrassed.

Listening to Armor For Sleep. I haven't listened to them in such a long time.



I've been feeling so uninspired lately. I don't know what it is. I just want to sleep all day.

I keep thinking about how in the Fall I'll be leaving again and living in Sacramento. I'm slowly starting to wish I didn't have to. I'm going to miss everyone here so much. I feel like I'm actually included with them. I don't want that to change.

I really need to start on that whole "writing project" thing. I always think about it while I'm working.

Joy bought me this book Mark Z. Danielewski (author of House of Leaves) wrote. It's called Only Revolutions. I really like it so far.

Shrugging, I
gift her my laugh.
It's lift so staggering.
Overcomes her. She
hyperventilates. Bends agonized.
What hurt I deliver with just a
hatless shuffleandflap. When
suddenly by a wild of only Wind,
I strangely blurt:
- I promise I'll never leave you.
Flash follws, searing lime to wide.
Fascinating.
She curtsies.
-I'm Hailey. Hi.

But I'm the sizzle preceding
disaster. Only by his panicky
squawk am I overcome.
With laughter. Heaves.
Doubling over. Wheezing.
What calamity I bring with just a
shoeless pirouette. When
by Flash, searing lime to wide,
I weirdly demand:
-I Wish you'd just chill.
A Wind follows.
Curious.
He bows.
-Hi. I'm Sam.

This song is so good.

Let's Drink To Memories We Shared

Im sitting at the dog park. Kind of in a weird mood. Im not really sure what it is.

I keep listening to old songs. They make me think. I never really stay home anymore. It feels like I need to constantly be out and doing things. I remember a few years ago, being out with friends without a care in the world. We'd just hang out. We were all so innocent and naive to what would become of us. It's those moments I want to relive. I've never been so happy.

I was talking to Joy and she reminded me that this is going to be my last year of being a teenager. I'll be twenty next july. Its scary that I'm getting older. I'll never get a chance to feel the way I did when I was surrounded by my friends on late summer nights.

I'm not really sure what the point of this blog is.

And Even Though The Moment Passed Me By, I Still Can't Turn Away

I just woke up. I actually got to sleep in this morning which is pretty nice.

I hung out with Art and Johnny last night. It turned out a lot funner than I thought it'd be.

It's weird to listen to this:


I haven't really listened to them in a while.

This song is really good:


The Goo Goo Dolls are way too talented

Birthday in a couple of days. Not too excited.

Time Is Coming To An End, Prepare For The Worst, Try To Keep Unity

I suck so bad at posting stuff on here. I've just been busy lately.

I have couple of days off from work. I'm pretty happy about that. Today I didn't do much except lay on my hammock for a couple of hours and edit this song I'm working on. It's coming out pretty good.

I watched the Michael Jackson memorial today. It was pretty long. I tried recording it for my mom but the video tape I had wasn't long enough. We definitely need a DVR.

I made a Twitter account today. It's actually cooler than I thought it was.

Tonight Joy and I went to Brooke and Anthony's place and watched Mallrats with everyone. I love that movie.

My birthday is on Saturday and I'm not too excited for it. It's not like I don't like my birthday or that it's not going to be fun or something, I just feel like it's not too big of a deal.

My mom asked if I wanted to go eat dinner in the city on Saturday after work. I told her that I was planning on hanging out with my friends for my birthday. Then I found out that they were going camping, so I told my mom that dinner in the city sounded good after all. Now, I guess they might not go camping and want to possibly have a little get together Saturday. So I'll have to tell my mom nevermind again. I'm going to wait and see if they're for sure not going camping before I cancel anything. I'm sure my mom won't care too much anyway.

I downloaded the new Born of Osiris album today. I only really like one song, but the others sounds pretty good. They still have those really melodic parts that I like.

I'm excited that I can go to Art and Anthony's show on Sunday. I haven't really seen them play besides their practices. It should be pretty fun.

I might try playing at this open mic thing Kelly was telling me about tonight. It sounds pretty cool.

I love this song:

Thanks George Lopez for getting it stuck in my head the last two nights.

I listened to this album for the first time in really long:

Oh nostalgia.

I probably only like two songs from Flyleaf.
This one:


and this one:

You Ain't Nothing Like The Girl I Used To Know

It's been a while.

I've been busy working. I haven't really had a lot of free time. Except when I hang out with Joy. But any other time I'm not spending at work, I'm doing some sort of chore or something of the sort.

I just got home not too long ago from Joy's. I was falling asleep while watching Disturbia. Now I can't sleep when I'm actually in my own bed. Lame.

I kind of wish I was going to Warped Tour tomorrow, but at the same time I'm fine with not going. I think I'm going in August or something. We'll see.

I just want to finish my stupid cover so I can put it up and record an original song.

I'm freaking out because I've been spending way too much money. I hate it. I just want to stop. I'm trying to eat at home more and I'm trying to hold off on buying some stuff that I can use.

I dropped my new phone today for the first time. I can already see it getting really messed up during the time I have it.

House of Leaves. Favorite book hands down. I'm not done yet. Almost.

"I have nothing left," Navidson says slowly into the microcassette recorder. "No more food. No more water. [Long pause] I have film but the flash is dead. I'm so cold. My feet hurt." Then (who knows how much later): "I'm no longer sitting on anything. The slab, whatever it was, is gone. I'm floating or falling or I don't know what." Now, except for when Navidson speaks, silence predominates.

"I have no sense of anything other than myself," he mumbles.

"I know I'm falling and will soon slam into the bottom. I feel it, rushing up at me." But he can only live with this fear for so long before he recognizes: "I won't even know when I finally do hit. I'll be dead before I can realize anything's happened. So there is no bottom. It does not exixt for me. Only my end exists." And then in a whisper: "Maybe that is the something here. The only thing here. My end."

Hypothetically If You Could Only Hear, Then Time Would Die In Love

I haven't really liked posting on here for some reason. I think I've just been busy.

Lately I've been working a lot, but also hanging out with everyone a lot. I love it. Last night was crazy. I'm glad Joy was there to take care of me.

I have the next two days off. So happy about that. It's crazy how fast I got used to working at JC Penney again. It's seriously like I never left.

My Grandparents are coming up to visit from San Diego tomorrow. That should be cool.

The Patient and I's new song is pretty good. I can't wait to hear it finished.

It's time to sleep.

How I Wish You Could See The Potential, The Potential Of You And Me

I haven't posted in a week. I've been pretty busy.

I finally got a new phone last week. It's the LG Xenon. Padraic had the same phone and since I knew it was cool I figured I should just buy it. I definitely love it.

I started working this week. It's weird how I feel back in the loop of working there again. The new store manager seems really nice.

I've been slacking on working out this week. For a few days I was doing pretty good. Oh well. I'll probably get up early tomorrow and do some sort of exercise.

I'm ready to finally record a cover song. I've talked about recording one for so long, but I'm actually going to do it this time. I've already started. I'm off tomorrow so I want to start the guitar tracks. It's going to be pretty simple so it shouldn't take long at all.

I've been liking how things are lately. I'm working again, spending time with Joy, hanging out with friends, eating home cooked meals. Life's good.

The other night Joy and I were laying in my car and just talking about things and I am pretty sure I want to write down a few experiences I've dealt with. I don't know. It's just an idea right now.

For some reason I've heard this song a million times but never really liked it until a few days ago.

I'm up right now and can hear the thunder outside. Moose is freaking out. He's growling and barking at it. He actually just crawled behind me to hide I think. He looks confused that I'm so calm about the crazy noise.

Lately I've been working out and I really like it. It makes me feel good that I'm actually doing stuff to try and get in shape.

I start training next Wednesday. I'm so glad I got my job back.

I just saw Stanich's video of him winning a truck on the Price Is Right. That's so crazy. I've never seen anyone I know on TV. I want to meet Drew Carey.

It turns out my sister won't be going to see Coldplay with Joy and I because she'll be super pregnant by then. We might have to find two other people to see Coldplay with.

I'm hearing noise on my roof that is kind of freaking me out so I'm going to go.

It's Been All Of My Regrets To Live A Lie

I've been so happy these last few days. It's really great to be back home.

Friday I talked to my old manager at J.C. Penney and I pretty much have my job back. I'm so relieved. I really need some sort of income coming in. I'm going to try and save a bunch. I need to buy a car this summer.

I finally met Joy's parents this weekend. Her mom and brother are so nice. I like that I can go over to her place now. The only thing that sucks is I guess her dad asked her brother if I was a pot head or something. Hopefully he'll get a better impression of me the more he sees me.

Watching Joy graduate was amazing. I'm so proud of her. I kept thinking back to a year ago when I was in her position. It's crazy to think about. Things were so different. I was so different. It seems like it was such a long time ago.

I think I'm going to try and record something this week. I don't know if it'll be an original song or not, but I'm hoping if I start the whole recording process it'll inspire me to record more songs.

My parents lied to me a million times about what they were doing this week. First, they said they were on vacation from work. I was kind of mad because I like having the house to myself. Then, they said they were going to San Diego to visit my grandparents, which would be awesome because Joy could spend the night a million times. I guess they aren't on vacation, which probably means they're not going to San Diego. Jerks.

Joy and I watched the MTV Movie Awards tonight. Andy Samberg is so funny. Miley Cirus is super lame for her "I'm on a boat" comment. Twilight got way to many awards. No matter how hot Megan Fox is, she always looks like a bitch. The funniest moment had to be when Bruno landed on Eminem. Eminem got so mad. You would think after all of the jokes he makes about people, he'd be able to handle a little prank someone played on him.

Subway dissapointed me today by telling me they don't make Prime Rib sandwiches anymore.

Conan comes back on tomorrow. I'm so happy about that. It's about time he's back on television.

It's strange to think about how this will probably be my last Summer in Tracy. I'll be moving to Sacramento for good this semester. I'll visit now and then, but I'll actually be living in Sac. I'm happy and sad about it at the same time. The 6 or so years that I "lived" here has definitely had an impact on me and who I am now.

There are so many movies I want to see this summer. Hopefully a few midnight showings.

Tomorrow Joy and I are going to have a badly needed workout session. I want to lose some weight this summer for sure.

Northstar is so amazing. I've been listening to them a lot lately. Cassino too. Good stuff.

My My What An Awful Mess...

I'm pretty tired right now. This heat makes me so sleepy.

Today was a pretty nice day. I picked Joy up from school and we hung out at my house. I watched Palo Alto while she napped. I've been wanting to see that movie for so long. It was really good and just what I expected it to be like. I want to see it again.

I got along with my parents pretty well today. I liked it. They're talking about getting part time jobs for the weekends. I wish my parents didn't have to work so much.

I'm going to the Bay Area tomorrow to help my sister and brother-in-law move. I didn't really want to but if I go tomorrow I won't have to help them on Saturday and miss Joy's graduation.

I met Joy's mom and brother today. I was so nervous. Apparently they thought I was nice. They were both nice too. I'm excited because Joy said I could probably go over her place now. That'd be pretty cool.

House of Leaves is such a crazy novel. I really like the book though. I'm probably going to try and read a few chapters before going to sleep.

Tonight Joy and I hung out at this park we always go to. The weather was so nice I just felt like being outside.

I can't get enough of this song for some reason.

We Will Never Have Our Old Way, We Will Never Have A Right Away

Today was so fun. I picked Joy up from school and after we went to the mall to buy her a dress, we went to Arts and hung out. There were water balloons and such so I left a pretty wet guy.

I just watched this really weird movie called Nowhere. I don't think I've ever seen such a weird, dumb movie.

It's 2 a.m. and I feel like I should be out and about. That's probably not good.

Moose for some reason really wants to lay with me. Damn dog. It's too hot.

This made me laugh.

Yesterday we were looking at old pictures of us from a few years ago. It's crazy how much people have changed. Our numbers have definitely gotten smaller too. I'm grateful to have who I do though. They're the ones who matter.

It's strange how my life is turning out to be completely different than what I thought it would be like at this point. I like it.

I Can Say I'd Love To Live This Life Just To Be With You

I just woke up really tired. I felt weird last night. I don't know why. It freaked me out a little.

I'm waiting for Joy to get out of school to hang out with her. It's so weird how when I'm with her I'm automatically in a great mood. She really is amazing. It's weird how I'm growing up and I'm realizing I have to be more responsible and what not. I see my sisters with their boyfriends and how they do things like work and pay bills but still have them over or something (except for my sister who's married and already lives with her other half). I can picture myself doing those things with Joy and being happy. I'm going to do whatever I can to make it happen.

I've been hanging out with Art and Kady and Anthony and Brooke a lot. It's nice being around them more.

I miss Sacramento a little bit. Being home is weird.

I meet Joy's parents on Saturday. I'm really nervous. Hopefully they'll like me. I don't want them to think I'm dumb or something.

I want Joy to come to my sister's wedding this year but the only thing is she would have to have her own room in the hotel we're staying at. Maybe I'll just pay for it. I really want her to be there with me.

I need to hurry up and apply to a few places for the summer. I'm going to try and work some other places instead of JC Penney. If I have to though, I'll see if I can get my job back. I can't just sit at home all summer.

Joy and I saw Star Trek on Sunday. It was really cool. I liked it a lot. I want to see the new Terminator, Up, Angels and Demons, and that one movie with Michael Cera (whenever it comes out). Maybe we'll start going to the theater in Manteca. I hear that one is better.

I've been writing this new song I have. It's coming out pretty good.

I need to get ready to pick Joy up.

I Can See You From Across The Room, There's A Tear In Your Storied Eye

In the last 4 days or so I've had about 5 hours of sleep each night. I feel like shit.

Today was nice though. I woke up and went to the Bay Area with my dad. I hung out with my sister and brother-in-law. My sister's stomach's getting huge. I can't wait for her to give birth to the little guy, even if he's a jerk who won't kick when I'm actually paying attention.

I went to a concert with them tonight. It was actually a Jane's Addiction/Nine Inch Nails concert. I definitely wouldn't have gone to that if they didn't ask. I figured it'd be nice to spend time with them though and it was actually kind of cool. It was definitely fun.

I wonder if I'll act the way people did at the concert for the bands I like now when I see them in like 10 years. Weird to think about.

Moose is laying next to me and we're watching the Louis C.K. special. I can actually tell he missed me. I love that damn dog.

Leaving the dorms last night was pretty weird. There were so many memories there. I'm definitely going to miss Pad and Drew during the summer.

I was so happy to see Joy last night. The summer is going to be amazing because I'll be with her all of the time. I'm happy my family likes her too, because that means she can be over a lot and come to family gatherings and what not.

Last night I stayed up and for some reason had a really good writing session. I started writing the first verse and chorus for a new song. I really like it a lot. I want to start writing more and I want to record more often.

Tomorrow I have to get my tire fixed for my car, put the tire on my car, mow the lawn, pick Joy up from Saturday school, get sushi with her, possibly take her to work, figure out what I'm going to wear to Brooke's party, pick Joy up from work, then go to Brooke's party. Definitely a busy day. I'll probably have to take Moose to the park somewhere in there too.

Goddamn I need sleep.

We Never Change, Do We? We Never Learn, Do We?

Coldplay's album Parachutes will always be one of my favorite albums.

"My heart is yours.
It's you that I hold on to.
That's what I'll do.
But I know I was wrong,
And I won't let you down."

"As my head just aches
When I think of
The things that I shouldn't have done

But, life is for living
We all know
And I don't wanna live it alone"



So good.

We'll Write Out In The Sand Here Lies The Destiny Of Two Hurt Souls Afraid To Be Cured Again

I'm studying for two finals I have tomorrow. U.S. History and my Math class. They're back to back with about a 15 minute break between each. Awesome.

I'll be so happy after I'm done with those two exams. I think I did pretty good on my last two exams, and it would be awesome if I did good on these two also.

I'm going home tomorrow too, so that's pretty exciting. It's weird though. The dorms were such an important part of my life this last year. It's really strange that Pad, Drew, and I aren't going to be hanging out everyday. Drew's leaving tomorrow morning. I really wish I could have hung out and spent time with him tonight before he left, but I really need to study. I'm sure he understands. Next year is going to be awesome with our house. Those two are seriously my best friends.

I was talking to Drew about how different the whole dorm experience was than what we expected. In the beginning I hated it so much. I wanted to go home every weekend. I knew no one. Now I've been busy almost all of the time, have great friends, and know more people. I love it. I honestly like my life here in Sacramento.

I can't wait to go home either though. It's going to be so great to be able to hang with Joy and Art and Anthony and Kady and all of them all the time. It's awesome having good friends in Tracy and here.

I just want this week to be over with.

5 hour energy shot, you're looking very tempting right now.

I'll Be Counting Up My Demons, Hoping Everything's Not Lost

I'm still up working on my study guide for my final tomorrow. We probably should have worked on this earlier. Fuck.

I started listening to Just Surrender today for the first time in so long. They're so good.

I thought this was so funny for some reason.


I have a few terms to work on but I'm going to finish them in the morning. I want to at least get a bit of sleep before my final.

I'm so excited for this week to be over with. I can tell this summer is going to be great.

Coldplay is amazing. I can't wait to see them in July with Joy and my sister and brother-in-law. The first time I saw them they were so good.

I hope they play this song.

Everything's Fine For Just One Night

I have finals this week. It's definitely going to be a stressful week.

This last week has been ridiculous. I think I need to give my liver a break.

It's pretty gross that such old guys would hang out with high school girls. Like seriously it's creepy. Especially if it involves swimming in bathing suits and beaches. Fucking creeps.

Yesterday was fun. A few moments where it wasn't, but overall it was good.

I can't wait to be home next week. It's going to be great.

The heat was so crazy yesterday.

I'm so hungry. I'm waiting for us to go get food somewhere.

I've been feeling weird lately. I don't know what it is. Again.

I'm so unmotivated lately.

I was Fifteen, On Top Of The World, I Was Fifteen, And You Were My Girl

I'm up right now typing a paper that's due tomorrow. It's a book report for a book I didn't read. I actually think I'm going to do well on it though. I don't really mind the whole not sleeping thing.

I've been eating what I can the last few days. I head back to Tracy for the weekend tomorrow, so I'm definitely looking forward to my mom's cooking.

I'm actually really excited for this weekend. I don't know what it is. Anthony, Art, and Joy are getting me tomorrow. I can't wait. I think I might have made too many plans this weekend though. It's weird because every other time I've gone to Tracy, people never really made an effort to hang out. Oh well. I'm going to try and do my best to hang out with everyone at some point.

We were looking at houses online around here. There are a few good ones. Our friend Carl was thinking about moving in with us but I guess that's not for sure yet. Honestly I think it'd be better if it was just Padraic, Drew, Joy, and I. We can still get a four bedroom house because Joy and I want our own rooms. I told my mom about it today and she surprisingly was completely fine with the idea. I really thought she was going to disown me for living with my girlfriend. So that's cool.

Tonight's episode of Scrubs was so sad. I honestly am upset that it's over. I mean in a way I'm glad they stopped before they got ridiculous and turned to a piece of crap, but it still sucks that they're done. The scene where J.D. is watching his future on that screen or whatever was amazing. It seriously like moved me. I don't know. I can't believe it's over. I feel like I lost a friend or something. I'm definitely going to miss it.

The band Man Overboard is seriously really good. Their CD is up for download on their page, which is really cool of them.

From the looks of it, all of my finals are going to be easier than my midterms. Awesome.

I've been thinking about how I'm still bitter about certain things from my past. I don't know why. It's stupid, but it doesn't change the fact that I am. I think there are a few things that will always be with me. It kind of sucks to think about, but maybe they'll make me a better person. I really want to be a better person.

I watched the new X-Men movie in Sonora last weekend. It was so good. There are a lot of movies I can't wait to watch.

There's this Christmas song by Man Overboard that I can't stop listening to. It's so good. It's weird how I didn't hear this song around Christmas. Especially since I had the CD and it was on my itunes.

I've missed my family a lot. I've missed my girlfriend a lot. I've missed my dog a lot. I've missed my friends a lot. Tomorrow couldn't get here sooner.

Im in my history class, waiting for it to start. My ipod decided to die without warning. I woke up this morning freezing because of the damn air conditioning. Definitely an awesome day. But i just ate which put me in a better mood. Last night i seriously ate poptarts for dinner. I cant wait to be home.

Drowned By The Screams Of Decadence, A Call To Arms

So we're in Sonora for the weekend. Last night was alright. Nothing too exciting. Just drank and hung out I guess. Hopefully tonight is more fun.

I'm the only one awake because Drew and Pad like to sleep in until 1 in the afternoon.

I can't wait to go to Tracy next weekend. I miss a lot of stuff there.

I can't wait to cut my hair. It's getting ridiculous.

It's weird how Sonora is similar to Tracy, drama-wise.

I wish Summer was here already. It's usually my favorite time of year, despite of the bad things that happen during it.

I started writing a new song. I like it so far. Lyrics need to be easier to write.

The season finale of Heroes was alright. It could have been better for sure. Sylar better come back. Why didn't they put Claire's blood in Nathan's body? If Matt could do that to Sylar, why didn't they just make him a good guy? So many questions unanswered.

I definitely need to start working out soon.

When Will You Admit Your Lonely

I've been feeling so weird lately. I don't know what it is. It's like I'm homesick or something. I don't know. I never know.

I was so surprised when you called me today. I did not expect to hear from you so soon. It really made me happier. It's crazy how much it sucks not talking to you everyday.

So I'm laying in bed early tonight. I kind of like it. I'm comfortable.

I did pretty good on my Math exam today. I guess I was one of the few people who noticed something on it. The teacher even pointed that out. I was kind of embarrassed though.

I definitely want to buy a banjo this summer, and a harmonica. I'll be working so I'll have more money. I can't wait.

So I'm way too low on meal points. I don't know what I'm going to do. I guess I'll buy some more, but they're really expensive. I'm not going to tell my parents though because they'll worry and I don't want them to.

I'm in an acoustic kind of mood. Death Cab and City and Colour. And some William Fitzsimmons. Definitely.

Pad just passed out to South Park. Oh well. I kind of wanted to sleep early tonight.

We're going to Sonora this weekend. That should be pretty fun.

I need to finish this book by the end of the week. Hopefully it's interesting.

I can't wait until I'm in Tracy again. I think it's what I need.

I can tell this Summer will be a good one.

I Would Forget You, If I Only Could Think About Anything Else

I'm watching Kickin' It Old School. I forgot how funny this movie is.



I thought it was so funny how the DJ in the movie is named DJ Tanner. Oh Full House references.

So I haven't blogged in kind of a while. I've been pretty lazy.

Today wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Even though I hate the classes I have on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

The weather has been really nice. Except I was kind of hot today. Oh well. I can't wait until summer. It's going to be so fun.

Krumping is stupid.

Heroes was really good tonight. I can't wait to watch next week's finale.

I'm really tired. I hope I can sleep soon.

Imagining You Here Right By My Side

Just watched the newest Scrubs. Really good episode.



I'm waiting for Pad to get back from Carl's. We're going to hang out a while before going to tonight's party.

Weird mood right now. I don't know what it is.

We're All Fucked On The Inside, But We Don't Let It Ruin Our Lives

I haven't posted anything since last week. Pretty weird.

I guess some stuff has been put to rest. Other stuff hasn't. Oh well. Life works like that sometimes.

Our garbage is over piling but I don't want to go throw it out yet. I probably will in a bit.

I just finished some Spanish homework and now I'm just sitting around. I might read some more House of Leaves.

I downloaded a bunch of Comeback Kid, Animosity, and xDeathstarx. I've been wanting some heavy-ish stuff. I also downloaded Linkin Park's first EP. I think I probably like the EP the most. I wonder what would have happened if I did end up getting turntables. The other stuff is good too but kind of hard to get into.

Transit's new album is great. I've been listening to that a lot lately.

Tomorrow is TKE's Black and White Affair. It should be pretty fun.

I missed Scrubs tonight. And the new South Park. Dammit.

I've been wondering where I might want to work this Summer. I'm not sure if I want to go back to JC Penney. I think I might apply at a bank or something. I wonder if they'd hire me. If not then probably some retail place. It depends.

I've been in an alright mood lately. Not happy. Not sad. Just kind of whatever. I don't know if I like it.

Super hungry.

Hot Pocket time.

Surrounded By Strangers, I Wonder Just Where They'll Go

Me and Pad are hanging out right now. Pretty fun stuff.

We hung out with Boutros today. It was fun. We went to Rite Aid and were pretty dumb.

I go to Tracy tomorrow. I can't wait to see Joy. She's amazing.

Nothing much to say about today. Went to two classes. Skipped my last one. Nothing was going on during that one anyway.

Yeah.

Tonight's good for me.

Lucero is good.

Hey Home, It's Nice To See You

Today was a better day than I thought it'd be. Each one of my classes went pretty good. I lucked out in my Math class. I didn't do the homework and he's collecting it next week instead of today. So cool.

It was raining all day today. I of course went out in just a T-shirt before the rain came and got soaked on my way back from my class.

My dad brought me my wireless internet router this morning. My dad's awesome.

I honestly can't get enough of The Wonder Years.

Drew just knocked over Pad's XBox and screwed up the Rock Band 2 disc.

Class is canceled tomorrow. Free day all day.

I'm in an optimistic kind of mood.




Pretty funny.

The whole Sandra Cantu thing is pretty crappy. I didn't know the family or anything, so I'm not that upset, but it's still crazy to think of what they must be going through.

I think I'm going to buy a bike this summer.

Maybe.

Everything, Everything, Everything Is Going To Be Okay

I'm back in Sac now. It's pretty nice. Last night I came back and unpacked. Then Pad, Drew, our friend Kevin, and I threw back a few beers and hung out and talked. It was pretty fun.

The weather is insanely nice out right now. I love it. It gets me in such a good mood. I know eventually it's going to be super hot though and I'll miss days like today.

So it's funny how many people said they wanted to hang out with me when I got down to Tracy and how almost none of them did. It really made me feel great. Oh well. I know who's important and who's not.

I forgot my wireless internet router which means I'm typing this in the study room downstairs. Oh well. My dad said he'll bring me it tomorrow. I think I'll survive a day without being online.

It's crazy how I already miss Joy. I saw her everyday when I was in town. I can't wait until she's up here with me.

I'm going down to Tracy again this weekend for Easter. It works out because Drew has a retreat he's going to for TKE and Pad's going bar hopping with some friends with his fake I.D. So I would've been bored anyway.

I ended up not recording that song I was writing. It wasn't finished. I did end up writing more of it though. So that's good. I'd rather have the song completely written instead of rushing and trying to record it and having it come out bad.

Joy and I were talking yesterday about a bunch of things. Everything that's happened throughout the years. How everyone is connected. It's crazy. Kind of sad too.

I got my history exam back. I did better than I thought I'd do. I could've still done better though. I'm going to work harder.

I finally bought a new hat. About time.

House of Leaves is a crazy book. I really like it so far though. It's really interesting. I can't wait for it to get crazier.

Lately I've been feeling weird. I don't know what it is.

My sister's going to have a boy. I'm so excited. I'm going to spoil that kid like crazy and wrestle with him and what not.



Heroes tonight. I can't wait. I better do my Math homework before 9.

Build My Dreams, Trees Grow All Over The Streets

I haven't posted anything in a few days. So weird.

I'm in Tracy for a week. It's been pretty nice. The only thing that sucks is I haven't hung out with anyone really except with Joy. I mean I love hanging out with her, obviously, but I thought there'd be more people who wanted to see me when I got home. Oh well. I like relaxing at home.

I'm finally watching Tokyo Drift after a million years. The girl on there is crazy cute. The movie's actually pretty cool.

I bought House of Leaves yesterday. I've only read the little introduction thing so far, but I'm excited to actually start reading it.

Friday I helped Lindsay move. It wasn't as much trouble as I thought it'd be. Her old roommates sound like douche bags. Her new ones seem really cool. Maybe because when we got there, they were sitting in the living room watching Scrubs. Awesome first impression.

The bad Asian guy on Tokyo Drift looks so creepy.

That sucks so bad about the lost little girl in Tracy. I really hope she's okay.

I took Moose to the dog park yesterday and today. I love seeing him run around with the other dogs. He's so friendly to the people too. I honestly think he's the best dog.

I haven't been getting much sleep lately. It feels like the last few days have been a week or something.

If I want to record that song I really need to start in the next couple of days. Hopefully it'll come out alright.

Silverstein's new album is actually kinda cool. Weird.

I feel like I don't have anything big to look forward to. It's like each day just kind of goes by.

Fall Out Boy's new single is way too catchy.

My hair has gotten so long. I need a haircut soon.

I think I'm waking up early. And I'll be going to sleep late tonight. Which means I'm definitely not going to get enough sleep tonight.

I can't wait for Fast and Furious or whatever.

Yeah.

Sleep.

A Spoonful Of Your Sarcasm Helps The Pain Go Down

I wanted to post something last night, but I forgot.

I got sick this morning. It was horrible. I hate this sickness.

I'm in a shitty mood. I'm sick of being treated like I'm going to fuck everything up all of the time. Yeah, I made mistakes before. That doesn't mean they'll happen again. People learn from bad choices. I'm not going to just stand around and be treated like I've done something wrong when I haven't.



I love that.

I have no idea what we're doing tonight. Or what I'm doing tomorrow night.

I need food.



I love that clip.

Yeah.

We Walk Around This Town Like We Own The Streets And Stay Awake Through Summer Like We Own The Heat

I haven't listened to that song in so long.
It's so weird.

It makes me think of everything that has happened in the last four to five years.
It feels like it's been longer than that.
We weren't supposed to turn out this way.
We were all so close.
We had so much fun.
It honestly makes me so sad to think of the end result.

I don't think anyone who wasn't a part of our group of friends could understand how I felt. Even if I tried explaining it to them.



I hate thinking about all of the bad things that have happened throughout the years.
None of them should have happened.
Even the things I've done.

If I could go back to the state of mind I was in, I would.
If I could take back the bad times, I would.

I know when I'm older and I look back at my youth, it's the times with those people I'll remember. I'll remember the way I felt. I'll remember the things we did.
We had no idea what was going to happen in the future, but we were so sure of the way we felt then.

I'm sorry.




Today's weather was nice. I know it's only March, but I can already feel Summer getting closer.

I'll be home in a couple of weeks.

I think most of this blog came from me reading comments and stuff from a few years ago.
It's crazy how different everyone is.

I don't know.

I'm sick.

I'm going to try and sleep.

Here Lies Clarity In A Perfect Grave Comprised Of Perfect Steel

I haven't listened to them in so long. It seems like it's not the same as when I was really into them. Different feeling or something? Still catchy as hell though.

I think I'm getting sick and it makes me really mad. I feel so drowzy and tired right now.

This weekend was pretty cool. Friday we went to this really fun party. Everyone was really nice there. Last night was alright. Pretty chill night. Today Pad and me watched movies all day. It was cool.

I think I'm ready to write lyrics for a new TSoW song but I'm not sure what I want the topic to be about. We'll see. And I have a couple of ideas for songs to cover. I want to make sure I actually record one though.

I've been playing this game called Funny Farm that's ridiculously too hard.

In a weird mood right now.



I've been wanting to listen to them lately.

Sleep please.

Even If I Had The Nerves To Find You I Wouldn't Know What To Say

So I made it through today. I was so tired this morning. I think I did really good on my exam though. I'm pretty happy about that. I get to sleep in tomorrow. Finally.

Tonight I sat around and talked to Joy for a long time. It was nice. I miss that girl.

The new This Providence album is pretty good. It's definitely not Our Worlds Divorce, but there are a few good songs. I keep listening to this song called Sure As Hell. It's so good.

I think I'm going to try and write a little more of the song I've been working on. I feel inspired.

Glen Hansard is about to play on Late Night. So cool.

Late Night with Jimmy Fallon isn't that bad. I don't really like his monologues at the beginning though. They're not that funny. He's probably still trying to get used to things.

That Bryan Brinkman experiment is kind of cool. I wouldn't get a twitter account though. His animation is kind of cool too. I really liked the one called "The Coffee Bird".

The weather was perfect today. I loved it. I wish I could've enjoyed it more though.

I think it's stupid that Heroes won't be on for two weeks. I think it's also stupid that Scrubs hasn't been new in three weeks. What the hell is happening to the world?

Sleep here I come.

Sometimes I Wonder Why I'm So Full Of These Endless Rhymes About The Way I Feel Inside

I can't believe I'm writing this right now. I should be asleep or at least using this time to study. I just can't seem to focus though. I had 4 or 5 hours of sleep last night. The exam I had today was ridiculous. Now I'm up studying for the exam I have tomorrow. All I want to do is lay down and shut my eyes.

I found out that our Spring Break is a week later than I thought it was. I could've sworn it said the 23rd online. It sucks, but now there's a chance my parents will head to San Diego that week and leave me to watch their house. Honestly I've just wanted to head home lately. I don't know what it is. I just feel like I don't really have anything to relate to here. It's not like I don't like Sacramento or my school or my friends here, it's just I've been feeling so empty. I don't know what it is.

I'm listening to City and Colour right now. He'll never get old for me. I wonder if when I'm older and I have kids, and I try to show them the music that I listened to when I was young, if they'll think I'm lame. Weird to think about.

The whole lack of sleep thing is really inspiring me to pick up my guitar and write. It's probably because my mind is just kind of wandering.

These last few days I haven't been able to talk to Joy that much. I've been busy studying for all these exams my teachers decided to give me this week. I miss her.

I really want to get the book House of Leaves. It looks really interesting.

I was talking to my mom today about how my sister's birthday is on Friday. I asked her if I should buy her anything. My mom said no and I made a joke about how she didn't get me anything for my last birthday. She said, "Aww she didn't?" and I said, "Nope. Nobody did." I don't think she realized that. It's not that I wanted anything, but it was my 18th birthday. My sister had a huge party at a hall for her 18th birthday. It doesn't seem too fair.

Sometimes I look back and wonder how different things would be if I made certain decisions over others. Or I'll think about what would've happened if I didn't meet the people I met in my life. I tend to think about that stuff a lot. That's probably unhealthy.

Lately I've just been playing The Wonder Years, Transit, and Fireworks. The Wonder Year's lyrics are so good to me for some reason.

I can't wait for this movie to come out:


The book was so good. It's weird because when I was reading the book, I pictured it all very similar to the way the movie looks.

Still weird I grabbed that book randomly at Border's.

I think I'll sleep and wake up early to finish the last two questions I need to do. I can't function.

Floop.

Do You Remember The Summer Heat? And The Way, We Used To Be

So I have a midterm for my Math class tomorrow and I've been studying all day. I'm taking a break to type this out and because Heroes is going to be on in a few minutes.

Today was pretty uneventful. Except I was in a really good mood the whole time.

I downloaded a bunch of music today. I'm pretty excited about it.



I wish I was in a band like theirs.



I talked to my parents today and they took Moose to get a couple of shots. Poor little guy. I miss him.

I'm not going to lie but the new Star Trek movie looks pretty cool.

Next week I'll start writing more. No exams or anything to worry about. I can't wait.

Transit and Fireworks are so good.

I lost my DC card. I have no idea how. I have to get a new one tomorrow. I wish I would've realized it earlier. I would've done it today.

The lift on the Stem Cell Ban is awesome.

Looking at houses. I can't wait.

I Stay Busy Day And Night, I Don't Have Time To Complain, Everything, Everything, Everything Is Going To Be Okay

I love The Wonder Years. They're probably one of my favorite bands.



I downloaded Tiefighter's album. It's actually really good. I expected it to not be for some reason. I don't know why.

This weekend was weird. Friday we didn't do anything. Saturday we ended up staying out all night. It was alright. Today I was so tired though.

Yesterday my parents and Joy came up to visit me. It was nice. We went out to eat and Joy and I got to hang out together. I loved it.

It feels like we haven't hung out with Drew in a while. That kind of sucks.

I'm looking forward to Spring Break a lot.

I have a bunch of midterms that I need to study for this week. Awesome.

It's strange how I both like and dislike the beginning of the week.

Our friend Joe from downstairs hung out with us last night. It was really random but it was definitely cool having him around. Hopefully he'll hang out with us more.

Russel Brand's stand-up was really funny.

So is Role Models.

Losing one hour of sleep is crappy.

Give Me One Last Kiss, For Soon, Such Distance, Will Stretch Between Our Lips

I'm still awake.

It's almost 4 in the morning. Fuck.

But, I'm glad I don't have school tomorrow.

Pad and I watched No Country For Old Men earlier. It was really good.

I found out today I did really good on my Math test. And since I did so good, it changed my grade a bunch. Now I have around a B in that class. I'm so proud of myself. I need to push myself to work hard in my classes this semester. I have midterms next week. Hopefully I'll do good. I'm going to take them seriously.

I feel strange right now. Not too sure what it is.

My parents and Joy are probably coming Saturday. That should be great.

I really like the split Distances EP from The Wonder Years and All Or Nothing. They're both really good bands.

I noticed that it kind of looks like my Math teacher had some sort of surgery or something on his face in his past. Maybe that's why he has so much facial hair in weird parts. He's really smart and I think he even won a nobel prize or something. It's weird though because I can tell he's lonely. He's talked about living with his roommates and I couldn't help but wonder if he's ever been in a relationship and why he wasn't married. Sure he's a little weird, but there are tons of weird women in the world. It makes me feel bad for him.

Our room is pretty messy right now. Tomorrow is DEFINITELY garbage day. Eww.

Even though I'm going to sleep super late, I'm going to try and wake up early tomorrow. I don't want my day off to go to waste.

Apparently I'm going to try and grow a mustache this March. We'll see how that goes. Stupid boy face.

Apparently I didn't miss much in either of my classes on Tuesday. That's awesome.

I saw a flier for this group called The Athiest Student Organization. That was weird to me.

I re-did my page and replaced all of the videos in the Movies and Television sections with pictures. I guess my page would make a bunch of people's computers freeze. Woops.



That's definitely some love makin' music.

So thirsty.